Punch Dialogue Training
May 5, 2009

Dear Partymembers,

Yet another victory! True heroes always rise from the ashes. Villians may kill their honest, non-bribe-taking fathers. They may Uterus-erasify their sisters while at that. Or sometimes, their bowlers might bowl poorly at the death. Two important party members came and met me before the tournament started and asked me for advice. And according to my philosophy, advice and 2 Rupee rice should always be free. So I advised them. Matthew Hayden told me that he had not played cricket for many months because he was busy surfing, fishing and karuvaadu-drying. Suresh Raina told me that he wanted to be sure of getting into the Indian International T20 team. I told Hayden that he must train his bat in the art of the punch dialogue. The bowler can say anything – offcutter, leg cutter, offbreak or legbreak, but the bat must come forward and deliver the punch dialogue with pure muscle power. I told Raina that it is not always about punch dialogues, but one must also slip into a white & white suit (with white shoes) and gently caress the heroine, and hit her for a six when the opportunity presents itself. I am happy that my advice proved useful yesterday